13 Dogs That Have Better Halloween Costumes Than You

13 Dogs That Have Better Halloween Costumes Than You

For the ignorant and uninformed, I am in love with dogs. Specifically pugs, but we won't get into that because it annoys my loved ones and I know they're reading this. But I was, of course, thrilled when I was told I'd be able to go to the Tompkins Square Halloween Dog Parade and document my time there, during which I somehow managed not to pee myself (or did I?? Read on to find out!).

  1. As I walked into the park, the first thing I saw was a pug dressed up like a king. I almost fell to my knees and wept, but mustered the strength to carry on in the name of journalism. But please, I'm no hero.

  2. Though the bar was set very, very high (I'm talking pugs-dressed-as royalty high), these pups (and their human companions) dressed to impress. While normally I would frown upon people dressing up to a dog costume parade -- because let the dogs have their moment please -- the people really turned it out. Especially this child.

  3. If you need to know one thing about dogs that like to dress up, it's that they love a good topical costume.

  4. At the parade there were a lot of Popes, pizza rats, and Trumps.

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  5. https://instagram.com/p/9PHgqIq7S4/

    Even The Weeknd showed up (He's actually a pug. Who knew!).

  6. While the new iPhone update was a true #blessing thanks to the new emojis, the timing of it could not have been more perfect. The easiest, most popular (and dare I say safest) costumes were without a doubt hot dogs and tacos, and I now had the emojis to match.

  7. Even dogs who didn't look like hot dogs dressed up like hot dogs. Yeah.

  8. The world's tiniest taco.

  9. I'd like to think my journalistic integrity keeps me grounded and unbiased. Keep that in mind when I say the pugs at the parade had the best costumes. See: this pug as a giant spider. Like any decent person, spiders gross me out, but this costume is cute as hell and I'm on board.

  10. I decided to ask some pug owners what their deal was, for professional reasons. Where did they get their pug, what the maintenance was like, etc. I chose the cutest one around me only to find out the owners were from Colombia and that's where they got their pug, Zeus. 'Please let Colombia be a small town upstate,' I prayed. If Colombia, New York exists, that is not what they were talking about. They also live in New Jersey now, where Zeus has a backyard to play in -- a much better setup than my apartment, I'm sure. I was devastated.

  11. I pretended like the last two minutes never happened and surrounded myself with other pugs.

  12. ...And the world's sleepiest dog bride.

  13. After I got my fix of Doge dogs and my dream of owning a pug was once again shattered in front me, I decided it was time to leave. But if you think I won't return next year with a pug of my own dressed up as whatever meme is the most relevant in mid-October, 2016 -- think again.