Friends Rewind These Exes Got Screwed Over Most
The now-famous theme song to Friends woefully declared that everyone's favorite New Yorkers had love lives that were 'D.O.A.,' but seriously, who's to blame?
Let's face it: Rachel, Ross, Monica, Phoebe, Joey and Chandler were all pretty terrible to their various significant (and more often, insignificant) others. Some of their relationships fizzled out in the regular course, but in the case of others, our six best pals were the reason things went south. With that in mind, and because Valentine's Day is just around the corner, we're looking back at all the exes who got screwed over the most. Check 'em out, then be sure to catch Friends every night from 6-8pET on MTV!
Some might be tempted to say Oh My God Janice totally earned the vitriol that came her way over the seasons, but let's examine the evidence, shall we? Chandler SO invited this woman to a holiday party after cutting things off and then still sent her home to ring in the New Year alone like a chump. He actually pretend to move to Yemen to avoid showing her the decency of a proper breakup (yeah, yeah, she should've gotten the memo already, but this isn't an expose on her intelligence levels). Then, when she was at her most vulnerable after being cuckolded by her husband, he finally decided to get serious with her, probably because he already knew she was emotionally unavailable. She didn't deserve what she got from him, even if she did end up, in her words, 'bumping uglies' with Ross for some strange reason.
No matter how much Ross and Rachel were meant to be, it should've never gone down like it did for poor Julie. Not only did Rachel constantly try to freeze the woman out -- from sex, from making nice with the group, from adopting a cat -- but Ross dumped her after swapping spit with Rachel (and making a pro/con list comparing the two, yuck), and she ended up with his dud of a doppelganger Russ. Pretty gross outcome for such a smart and lovely person, wasn't it?
Okay, okay, so she was kind of a jerk too for getting all icked out by Chandler's nubbin', but Joey torched her wooden leg and then left her to deal without it alone. Can you imagine this poor woman trying to get home from the cabin with her dog Pepper and a missing prosthesis? Joey's had a lot of fails, but this takes the cheesecake.
It's not just that Rachel convinced this lady to bald herself (that's actually pretty rad) or even how everyone treated her like a piece of meat from word one ('cause it was her who owned her sense of sexual liberation). What makes her so mistreated is that Ross made out with Rach while Bonnie -- still his girlfriend at the time, hair or nah -- was literally waiting for him in the next room. He really should've just gone to live under a bridge.
Phoebe ran all over David from the word 'go' -- well, actually, we believe the exact first words she spoke to him were 'Hey, noisy boys' before she louded them out for (gasp) talking to each other during her set at the coffee house. Just a few days into their relationship, Phoebe was already pressuring him to give up on a career-making (or in his case, breaking) opportunity to work abroad in Minsk. And while their connection seemed pretty legitimate and sweet sometimes, once Mike came into the picture it was all over and she should've made that very clear. Instead, she ended up stringing David along with lies about her relationship status and, after her split with Mike, dragged him rebound-style to Barbados, where he was dutifully humiliated in front of everyone -- just like the first day ever he laid eyes on the Phoebester.
- Fun Bobby
We'll just have to take everyone's word for it that Fun Bobby was so fun because he seemed to be bumming pretty hard every time he was around Monica, especially once she called him out for boozing too hard and then got bored with Sober Bobby, drank in front of him, and insulted him mercilessly. Cool, Mon.
On the surface, it seems kind of hard to defend Kathy, let alone feel sorry for her, but the truth is that she started out being a pretty kind and interesting match for Joey. But then Joey did what Joey does and ran around on her without abandon, leaving Chandler to entertain and become infatuated with her. With so much objectification coming from all angles, she really should've packed up that hockey jersey and taken the canoe right on outta there, but she stuck around just long enough that her own integrity ended up compromised in the end. To the box, all!
Before Ross said Rachel's name at the altar, Emily was perfectly nice and polite to everyone. We're not saying her reaction to the whole thing was right -- she probably should've just told the minister 'no thanks' on continuing the ceremony then and there, tbh -- but her suspicions certainly weren't baseless, especially since, you know, Rachel did show up to London for the very purpose of running self-serving interference on their nuptials (which kinda worked, if you think about it).
- Paul #2
Paul the Wine Guy was a manipulative jackwad whose watch deserved to get smushed, no doubt. But the other Paul, Elizabeth's dad, was a perfectly normal, albeit somewhat overprotective and edgy, man before Rachel found something to complain about -- and then complained about it when he tried to do what she wanted. The fact that she actually debased this man to everyone within earshot because he expressed the exact emotions she friggin' asked him to makes her a bully.
- Tag Jones
First of all, Rachel was a creeper to Tag from the first time she ever met him. Polaroids 'for human resources?' Sounds like a lawsuit waiting to happen. Spreading rumors about his sexuality to ward off interested staffers and then actually threatening to fire them? That's classic harassment, whether he ultimately reciprocated her interest or not. And then when she dumped him over some baby math and a scooter, we never heard from Tag again. Given her history of workplace impropriety with him, we can only assume he must've lost his job after their split, right? Harrumph .
'What was wrong with Mona?' Ross rightly asked after Phoebe lumped him with the 'Who's Who of Human Crap' that was her friends' collective dating record. In truth, Mona was nothing short of a saint and put up with way too much from Ross. Granted, his attentions were split, what with Rachel carrying his baby and all, but that flip-out about doing a holiday card is about as juvenile as it gets.
- Angela Delveccio
Joey went so far as to rope Monica into his conspiracy to break up this woman -- whose cleavage was definitely the only thing he cared about -- and her new boyfriend using spilled drinks and chicken wings. But seriously, they should've come up with an even meaner plan for that moment of desperate deviance.
Speaking of completely whacked behaviors, Chandler's decision to lure a woman into bed by pretending to be someone else on the phone and seducing her in a wounded moment proved he was even more 'hopeless and awkward and desperate for love' than anyone knew. It was way worse than that time he slept with the employee he was supposed to fire and then told his boss she was certifiably insane to avoid the consequences (WHY. Why why why why).
Rachel maybe sorta-kinda cared a little bit about Joshua at first, but eventually her escalating interest in him became about keeping pace with Ross and Emily -- to the point that she pretty much proposed to this man at Central Perk while his divorce wasn't even inked. The message he probably got from all of this is that jumping back into that dating pool is terrifying. And to think, all that fuss and he wasn't even her usual doctor type.