Jersey Shore: The Drinking Game!

Jersey Shore Drinking Game

Let's be honest: Nobody watches Jersey Shore because it grows their brain cells.

We tune in because the antics of the crew are so preposterous, it's hard to believe the cast are actually real people and not cartoon characters. Over the years, we've seen Mike 'The Situation' Sorrentino eat a hoagie in bed while watching Paul 'Pauly D' Del Vecchio have sex right next to him. Nicole 'Snooki' Polizzi has both flashed her vagina and put her sunburned butt inside a refrigerator. Ronnie Magro and Sammi Giancola have laid the groundwork for a future Lifetime movie plot, and Jenni 'J-Woww' Farley never met a shredded ensemble she didn't love.



God bless the Guidos and Guidettes.

So, as season four kicks off on Thursday -- it's the much anticipated Italy installment! -- we think it's only fitting to present fans with a little drinking game with which to enjoy the show. (I mean, can anyone really watch it sober anyway?) So hook up a pitcher or two of Ron-Ron juice and let the good times roll!

Directions: Choose the Guidos or Guidettes team, and watch for your cues to imbibe. In addition to your team cues, also swill your cocktail according to the 'Everyone' section at the bottom of the list. The last one to pass out, throw up or end up smushing a stranger wins!

GUIDOS

Take one drink when:

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-- The Situation flexes his muscles in the mirror

-- Pauly D announces 'T-shirt time' or 'cabs are here!'

-- Ronnie concocts a batch of Ron-Ron juice

-- Vinny gets the hot girl, while Pauly D and Sitch go home empty-handed

Take two drinks when:

-- The Sitch tries to creep on one of his roommate's girls

-- Any of the guys wear their sunglasses inside and/or at night

-- Vinny adds some comic relief to the show

-- Pauly D wakes up in the morning with his hair still in a perfectly formed helmet

-- Someone gets laid. (Triple it when/if the Situation really does have a threesome, as tabloids reported earlier this year)

Slam you drink when:

-- The grenade whistle is sounded

-- Two or more of the guys have sex with girls in the same room and/or at the same time

GUIDETTES

Take one drink when:

-- Deena refers to herself as a blast in a glass

-- Sammi is shown laying and/or sulking in bed

-- Snooki mentions something about gorilla juiceheads

-- Snooki wears furry slippers or giant furry boots

Take two drinks when:

-- Snooki screams 'waaaah!' or belches out loud

-- J-Woww adjusts her boobs with hands, or when her nipples are in danger of being exposed at any moment

-- Any of the girls climb atop a platform in a dance club and makes fools of themselves

-- Any of the girls wear a strapless, backless or halter dress with a regular bra

-- Someone gets laid

Slam your drink when:

-- Any of the ladies unleash an ozone-depleting gust of hairspray into their hairdos

-- Snooki exposes her lady parts

EVERYONE

Take one drink when:

-- The group sits down to Sunday dinner

-- The Situation does most of the cooking for said meal

-- Someone mentions smushing, getting it in or whatever new slang they've come up with for intercourse

-- Anybody does any GT or L

-- The term Guido or Guidette is used

Take two drinks when:

-- Ronnie and Sammi argue

-- Anyone from the JS group is involved in a bar brawl, or a fist fight at home

-- Someone is handcuffed

-- Any of the cast members make out with someone during a cab ride

-- Upon arrival home, any cast member sprints directly to the smush room to call dibs on it

-- The house falls into a state of questionable hygiene

Slam your drink when:

-- Someone is arrested

-- Any cast member thinks they're getting some action, only to be turned down once they get home

-- As an American, you feel totally embarrassed to ever visit Italy now