Listen Up Idiot Hookers
Listen up, pledges. Now that you've witnessed just how devilishly awesome Ryan Murphy's new show ' Scream Queens ' is, it's time to review the premiere's most instantly iconic quotes. Regardless of which lines made you LOL or which made you physically squirm, part of what's going to make 'Scream Queens' a cultural phenomenon is the way the characters wax insanely quotable poetic throughout every episode.
Would you let someone die in a bathtub to listen to 'Waterfalls?' (I might, tbh.) Are you and your friends all calling yourselves 'idiot hookers' this morning? (Duh.) Will you order a PSL at 210 degrees today in honor of Chanel Oberlin? (Abso-freakin-lutely. Just, you know, maybe don't insult your barista by calling him a coffee donkey.)
Behold, the most iconic quotes from the two-hour 'Scream Queens' premiere, presented without context because spoilers:
'Who told you you could have a baby here tonight?'
'I am not missing 'Waterfalls' for this. 'Waterfalls' is my jam.'
'I'm sorry, did I ask you to pull down my panties and blow a compliment up my butt?'
'Do you think you like to munch box because your last name is Munsch, or is that just a coincidence?'
'OK, someone turn me into Jada Pinkett Smith.'
'No one forced that goat to get as drunk as it got!'
'What was I supposed to do? 'True Tori' was over.'
'We have a side boob mixer, followed by a white party, where everyone is encouraged to wear slash be white.'
'She smells like hot dog water and probably sprained her neck giving blumpkins down at the local bowling alley.'
'What fresh hell is this?'
'I am gonna barf on your face unless you get out of here.'
'Thank you, coffee donkey... Ugh, you burnt the milk! Learn to make a pumpkin spice latte, you psychopath.'
'I love all that death stuff. I got my first boner watching 'Faces of Death.''
'How did you get HPV? When were you in Mexico?'
'Good evening, idiot hookers.'
'OK, Pissy Spacek.'
'It’ll be fun, like a 'Friends' episode... but someone’s trying to murder all the Friends.'
'Congratulations, stupid hippos.'
'I'm protecting you by having sex with you.'
'Sorry, I just broke up with you. Bye.'
'Private, like the parts of a man that you like to put in your mouth?'
'Shandell, why you gotta knife through your throat?'
'Ever since I broke up with you, I banged like 50 chicks.'
'Can I call you MOM?'
YES, QUEEN HESTER. Please do call us, MOM.