This Epic Craigslist Ad Will Actually Make You Want Buy 2001 Honda Civic
Today’s tale of an average joe doing extraordinary things comes to us from Los Angeles, California, where people ARE what they drive. Fancy-shmancy BMWs and big black SUVs roam the streets and command all the attention, leaving everyone else to feel inferior.
But Echo Park resident Chris knows — just KNOWS — that his 2001 Honda Civic is a hot commodity. Sure, it already has more than 192,000 miles on it, but it has CHARACTER, as you can see below:
Are you ready to get to WORK? Then drive the car that says, 'Shut the fu-- up, I'm commuting!'
This boss 2001 Civic LX has 192k miles. This isn't your dad's Mercury Cougar that sh-t the bed after 97,000 miles. It's a Honda. It's just hitting puberty. It can be yours for ,293.67.
Fast cars and big trucks all scream the same thing: 'I'M OVERCOMPENSATING!' If you're secure about the size of your genitalia, drive something that tells the world you give zero sh-ts because you average 35 MPfu--ingG.
If you get tired of [backseat drivers] complaining out of their pie-holes, you can nail them with ice-cold AC capable of freezing your di--/vagina right off.
This car is all-Civic, ladies. It hasn't been trashed and racing-modded by some yabbo, because it's a fu--ing Civic. Get real people.
But wait, there's more:
- Registered until July, 2015
- Manual transmission
- Side airbags (good incase car rolls over after a river-jump)
- CD player
- Tape deck so you can use a tape adapter to play music from your phone, you cheap bastard
- Cruise control
- Tilt wheel
- 3 floor mats that it stole from an older Civic on the playground
- Air conditioning
- A mildly squeaky belt that announces your arrival
- Teeth marks on the parking brake handle and one of the interior door handles because a previous owner must have been a real piece of sh-t and locked their dog in the car for too long. If you might do that to your dog, don't buy this car. But do come over so you can get the c---punch you deserve
- Interior 9.5/10, aside from bite marks
- Body 8/10. Gotta get some scars to earn your stripes on the street, yo.
- This is the actual mileage, unlike a vast majority of the other cheap Civics you're finding in this cesspool of used cars
- Half tank of gas. You're welcome.
- Clean title, full Carfax report available for anyone brave enough to ask
My name is Chris. Email me to set up a test drive. You must provide your own explosions.
** Yes, this is a real ad and this car is really for sale
So there you have it, folks. This is clearly the best used car ad to ever exist and it will never be topped. However, it appears the ad has been flagged for removal, so it may have already found a loving home that unfortunately isn't yours.